Like many Americans, I enjoy shopping. I was vaguely aware that I shopped maybe more than average...and perhaps it wasn't such a good thing...but business was good, clients were plentiful, and I was grateful to be able to do work I really enjoyed. I was also happy to be able to buy most anything I wanted and I rarely held myself back. Life is good, I thought.
For the past ten years, I have run a consulting business working with non-profit organizations, helping them with strategic planning, project and program development, fundraising, and real estate development. My practice has been lucrative and allowed me the flexibility to earn a good living and be active in my young daughter's life.
In the summer of 2007, I looked up into the night sky and prayed, thanking God for my life and the abundance we enjoyed. I then said, "Lord, I am ready to do more...be more...I am ready to learn more...please let me be of service. Finally, Lord, please work with me on money."
Yes, money was plentiful, but I was aware that while we did save money, and our debts were modest, deep down, I felt that all the shopping we did was not really a good thing. My daughter's bedroom is filled with toys she rarely plays with, and my arts and craft area was briming with supplies and materials I had never used.
By contrast, my sister lives a more modest life financially and in spending time with her I began to see how much I wanted to change. One afternoon, we met for lunch in a small picturesque town in Michigan. I was surprised when the bill came, lunch for three of us was under $10! "That was easy", I thought as I picked up the tab. I was always proud to pick up the tab, give a gift or supply an unexpected treat. As I reached into my oversized designer handbag, I noted that my sister had slipped her cash into her jeans and didn't even carry a bag! There seemed to be a freedom and a lightness in not being encumbered with a big showy purse, and yet all my friends and I always carried "in" bags it was as much a part of the uniform as our $400 sunglasses.
We then decided to walk a bit and found ourselves in a string of antiques shops reminiscing as we saw toys from our childhood. I discovered that I was enjoying my sister's company and had no desire to possess any of the beautiful things we saw. My daughter grew restless, and soon we found ourselves in a gift shop where the proprietor showed her a new toy, a Webkins. Special, she explained, because you could play with it on the computer as well as in real life!!! The last thing I wanted to do was to purchase another stuffed animal, my daughter had an overwhelming number already, and yet, I hated disappointing my beloved little girl. So there I was walking through the store, holding my wallet stuffed with cash poised to give in while my daughter pressed me for the Webkins and a number of other items she saw.
I glanced at my sister who was laughing over a humorous greeting card. I looked at my daughter so accustomed to having most anything she wanted and me with my over sized purse mindlessly ready to do what I often did, just spend. At the same time, I knew the fate of the cute little Webkins she was petting longingly, and the snowglobe she had set on a nearby shelf to "think about" and the fake hair piece she also wanted: Goodwill. It was not uncommon for her to beg for an item, even use her own money to purchase it, and then turn around and donate it to Goodwill sometimes only weeks after its purchase!
I said no, quietly yet fimrly. If my daughter was disappointed, she did not show it. Chatter continued between the three of us until we found ourselves in a T-shirt shop. I was being pressed again. "Can I have this shirt?" my daughter was asking. It was not even her size! In the blink of an eye, she was negotiating: "Yesterday, you bought yourself something, now it's my turn!" I countered by reminding her of several recent purchases we had made for her. "We are just going to look today," I said firmly.
As we drove home, I marveled at the fact that my sister and I lived so differently. She in an old farm house filled with comfortable hand me down furniture, me in suburbia with my perfectly coordinated Ethan Allen reproductions...I saw how content she was, just looking at antiques and chit chatting about old times...and how much I enjoyed it too. No amount of money could have purchased a more enjoyable day.
It was a rare day for me to just enjoy another's company, having fun without spending a boat load of money. The experience caused me to wonder what was really going on in my life and to pray that I would be guided with regard to money.
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